Thursday, May 17, 2012

And the 2012 Recipient of the Melissa Fortener McLaughlin Scholarship is...


Fairmont High School Senior

MELANIE WEST

There were 21 applicants this year.  Greg and Denise Nelson, Donny and Angie were on the selection committee.   While there were several deserving candidates, Melanie's essay stood out among the rest.  Her sense of humor showed in her writing (like Fort), she was involved in the Spirit Chain for the United Student Body (like Fort).  She will paying for her college - working the last two years to save for college.  Fort paid for the majority of her college education also.  Melanie is a VERY deserving candidate  and we are pleased to present her with the 2012 scholarship.  She will be attending Wright State University majoring in Mechanical Engineering. 
Congratulations Melanie!!!!

Donny, Melanie, Pam, Angie

*********************

Mother's Day

Not an easy day...although Nick, Mere and the boys made me smile...on Saturday.  They have been very accommodating when it comes to holidays.   They really went overboard this year - I got a beautiful Willowtree statue (that I have begun to collect), it's a mom (grandma)and two little boys,
two butterflies for the gardens and a beautiful wall hanging with a letter to "mom"...PLUS a cashmere sweater (with a breast cancer ribbon) from Mere's mom.  Overboard...but SO nice.
(Thanks Nick & Mere, Drew & Max!)
Sunday, off to the boat for some mindless activity...a good way "around" another holiday.
Donny and I took a good friend from Compassionate Friends.  (She is not a gambler, but needed to
get away too.  She accidently put $5 in a $5 slot maching - and won $100.  I told her it was her Mother's Day present from her son!  She liked that...)
My beautiful daughter in law, Mere, with a rose from her LOVING
husband (from grandma's roses)

Nick, Drew, Pamma, Max



A rose from Grandma Fortener's
rose "tree"


Not a rose bush, a rose TREE.  At least 25 roses
on this thing!

********************************

That's Why I'm Here.....
A couple of weeks ago, Donny and I were at Books and Co., saw that Chris Spielman (former Ohio State football player, also played for the Lions and Buffalo, is now an ESPN Sports Analyst) was going to be there signing his book That's Why I'm Here.  He lost his wife Stefanie to breast cancer about 6 months after Melissa passed away.  He started a foundation in her name to raise money for research.  The story he tells is very similar to Melissa's story.  His wife was diagnosed at 30, fought it for 12 years.  I was very impressed with the work his foundation is doing.  He only spoke for about 10 minutes, then started the book signing.  He listened intently to each person that came through the line (I think 75 #s were given out)...and took pictures of survivors to put on his FB page, also pictures with anyone else that wanted one.  The book REinspired me to get started on MELISSA'S book... plan on starting on it this summer.

Pam and Chris Spielman

****************************

FAIRMONT SOFTBALL FUNDRAISER
"Firebirds Fighting Cancer"

This year, the JV & Varsity Softball teams raised over $600 for Melissa's Scholarship fund...

THANKS FIREBIRDS!



****************************

ANOTHER butterfly.....!

My students KNOW how much I love butterflies...and I literally have recieved over 100 butterflies in the last two years!
This one was from a fifth grader.  Saw it at the store and his mom said "if you want to spend your money on this..."
and he said "YEP".   Wow. 


Pam (holding solar butterfly) and Shawn

*****************


Mrs. Geary's Reading Bench

Southdale Elementary School (where Moraine Meadows students and four MM teachers went)
dedicated a READING BENCH to my colleague and friend, Jackie Geary.


Jonathan Cooper (Principal), Carrie, Debbie, Lisa
Pam, Josh, Pam (former MM staff members)

************************

RUGBY

CINCY vs. DAYTON

A beautiful day for a rugby match...and OH how I miss seeing Melissa out there...but how I LOVE seeing her friends...they are so good to us....(plus they are a little more patient explaining rugby to me than Melissa was...I guess she thought I should understand the game after explaining it to me for TEN years....I'm getting a little better.  I think.


Ok...I think this is called a "line out"...am I right? 
Notice the green shirt - that's Coach Curt.  On the shirt
it says  "15 years of history - a lifetime of memories"
At the top of the rugby ball, it says FORT, then the
names of two other players who have passed, and LOTS
of rugby memories.  Now my favorite rugby shirt.

(Until the "OLD GIRLS play - May 26 in Dayton - that shirt
is AWESOME.  Fort would LOVE it.  Will post a picture
when I get one!)



Jen "Smitty" (former rugby coach and friend),
Tammy, former teammate and friend.
Now MY friends.


Will post information about the upcoming OLD GIRLS and OLD BOYS matches
soon.  If you've never seen a rugby match, this would be a good day to watch.
Should be interesting....


********************

DREW and MAX

Fort seemed to always end with something cute about Drew.  Whenever I have something to share, I try to do that too.  When we got home from the Awards Ceremony tonight, we had a message on the answering machine.  It was Max (with Mere in the background) telling us that he pooped in the big boy toilet.  He was SO excited.  Mere was telling Drew to say "HI Pamma and PopPop" he said it, then he said "THEY'RE NOT TALKING TO ME"...just doesn't understand "leaving a message" I guess!  But it reminded me of when the kids were little, we had one of them (can't remember which one) call Grandma to wish her a happy birthday.  We put them on the phone, said "Say Happy Birthday".  So they said Happy Birthday.  Then they said "it's still ringing"....
Oh well.  I wish I would have written down EVERYTHING they said.  My advice to you -
get a journal when they're little AND WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN.  You WILL forget. 
I'm writing down everything Drew and Max say now...they'll be sorry.

****

Ten days.












Tuesday, April 24, 2012

April Showers

Another busy month...birthdays, holidays, school events....and getting used to a new blogger setup...
hard for me, but I actually think Fort would love this new setup...



Jack & Annie of the Magic Tree House Series by Mary Pope Osborne visit Greenmont

Easter Egg Hunt at the Fortener's

Max & Drew with cousin Joey (who was born a month after JP!) at
Fortener Easter Egg Hunt

Donny Max & Drew at Fairmont JV Softball Tournament
"Firebirds Fighting Cancer" proceeds to Melissa's Scholarship!


Bob Franz (of the infamous Franz family) JV Softball Coach
Honoring Melissa

Pam throws the first pitch....

Happy 90th Birthday Howard!



Doolittles Raiders celebrated the 70th Anniversary @ WPAFB.
The planes from Doolittles Raiders flew over the city that day -
RIGHT OVER my school!


Looking at all the exciting things that have been happening in the last month,  you might find this hard to believe...but the last couple of weeks have been really hard.  I guess I'll call it "April showers"...in my own little world.  "Showers" in the form of tears.  Don't always know what sets them off...I'm guessing Easter.  And coming up, Mother's Day....and finding things like the stickers above that she had in her scrapbook bag that I decided to look through.
I like to think that I KNOW why she bought these (I do - they were for Drew's scrapbook that she never got to finish. She took it to the hospital to work on, never had the energy to get to it - although she had everything she needed at her fingertips if she ever had the energy to do it)
I can see her shopping at the scrapbook store and seeing these...

HOMEMADE...
GRATITUDE...
WHERE YOU LIVE...
Warm place...
do it yourself (THAT Is probably the sticker that made her buy this!)..
down in the dumps...
family vacation...
joy...
CARE...
Happy Home...
Mother knows best...
Good Values...
sunshine...
protective...
good things...
TOGETHER...
Parent...
balancing act...
Calm...
comfort...
Life...
loved...
mom...
enjoy the party...
Remember.
all of these things are Melissa. I'm pretty sure she had a picture in mind for every sticker.
I miss her so much...every single day....
Don't sweat the small stuff...hug your kids and tell them you love them
EVERY day.

















Looking at all the exciting things that have been happening in the last month,  you might find this hard to believe...but the last couple of weeks have been really hard.  I guess I'll call it "April showers"...in my own little world.  "Showers" in the form of tears.  Don't always know what sets them off...I'm guessing Easter.  And coming up, Mother's Day....and finding things like the stickers above that she had in her scrapbook bag that I decided to look through.
I like to think that I KNOW why she bought these (I do - they were for Drew's scrapbook that she never got to finish. She took it to the hospital to work on, never had the energy to get to it - although she had everything she needed at her fingertips if she ever had the energy to do it)
I can see her shopping at the scrapbook store and seeing these...

HOMEMADE...
GRATITUDE...
WHERE YOU LIVE...
Warm place...
do it yourself (THAT Is probably the sticker that made her buy this!)..
down in the dumps...
family vacation...
joy...
CARE...
Happy Home...
Mother knows best...
Good Values...
sunshine...
protective...
good things...
TOGETHER...
Parent...
balancing act...
Calm...
comfort...
Life...
loved...
mom...
enjoy the party...
Remember.
all of these things are Melissa. I'm pretty sure she had a picture in mind for every sticker.
I miss her so much...every single day....

Don't sweat the small stuff...hug your kids and tell them you love them EVERY day.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Happy Birthday Andrew - 4/4 he's 4!

Four years ago today...our second grandson arrived...ANDREW CHARLES. Our family was growing. And he came when we needed him. He got to meet his Aunt Fort and spend lots of time with her. I hope he remembers her. Nick, Mere, Donny and I ALL talk about Aunt Fort to Drew and Max.
Last few days, Andrew was about the reason Melissa would wake up. She LOVED him. He made her smile...and he's STILL making us smile. Happy Birthday Andrew Charles... WE LOVE YOU!

Andrew...THRILLED with his new STAR WARS legos!














Pamma, Andrew, PopPop in his new STAR WARS bedroom! Happy Birthday Drew!





























Aunt Fort LOVED Drew!




















*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spring...
not sure why, maybe it's ANOTHER season without Melissa...VERY sad lately. Going through pictures , trying to find some of her with Andrew...I just look at the pictures and can't believe she's gone. Just can't be possible.
I KNOW it has to be hard to understand how someone could possibly be in so much pain - even after three years. But there are days when the pain is unbelievable.
Still.
We are so blessed to have friends who accept us for who we are TODAY. Lately I havebeen going to the Compassionate Friends page on Facebook. It is a GODSEND. Helps me, and a lot of bereaved parents, understand that we are truly not alone. We are NOT crazy. If you get a chance, check it out sometime. I have never seen a post from someone who hasn't lost a child, but it really gives you insight into where we are...early in our grief or ten - fifteen years into our grief. It never goes away. We just learn to get through one day at a time, and accept the fact that there will be days that will be hard to get through. Days that we want to turn back the clock and CHANGE what happened. But somehow, we get through those days.
If you get a chance to read some of the posts, it will help you understand what to say, what NOT to say, and why we do what we do. We hold on to every thread to keep our kids with us. But we all understand that we go through this differently, and there is NO right way to grieve and NO timetables.

So another spring is here, and I am missing Melissa terribly...could be Easter too.
I just miss her.

Please don't ever forget her....and when you think of a story or something she said or did that made you laugh...tell us....we LOVE that...

Happy Easter - enjoy your families!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Melissa Fortener McLaughlin "B" Positive Award goes to...

Makayla Waterman....AGAIN!


As we watched the team this year, I sometimes wondered WHO would receive the award this year...who most closely represents Melissa's B POSITIVE spirit...her positive attitude not just about the game, but about LIFE.

It was really no surprise that Makayla received the award again this year. Makayla
kept a positive attitude through adversity - last summer, she tore her ACL playing AAU ball. She sat out the first half of the season, came back into the game a few minutes at a time after the first of the year.

On this amazing team, Makayla is one of the TOP players. She is already being recruited by several Division 1 colleges. I know how hard she had to work to get back into the game when she did.

Reminds me A LOT of Melissa and the adversity SHE faced. She never gave up. NEVER.
She fought EVERY SINGLE DAY, for Melissa, to get back to work. For Makayla, to get back to the game that she loves so much.

Melissa ALWAYS had a smile on her face - even though there were some really difficult days. Even at the end.

Makayla ALWAYS has a smile on her face...even when she was sitting on the bench, waiting to get back into the game, cheering on the team. Just like Melissa - waiting to get back into the game...of life.

Makayla has a promising future ahead of her, and we are SO HONORED that Coach Cogan and his assistants chose Makayla for Melissa's award. She was the PERFECT choice this year.

Congratualations Makayla...I wish you could have met Melissa. She would be honored too!
*******************************************************************************

The Banquet...didn't even recognize the girls all dressed up!















After the State Finals...Chelsea Welch (AWESOME point guard for Fairmont), Pam, and Brianna Welch (who played for Fairmont a couple of years ago, now plays for Fairmont State in W.VA.)...both former students of mine from Moraine Meadows (ok - Chelsea only went there in Kindergarten, I think Brianna went there until 4th grade)













Lindsay, my cousin Leanne's daughter,was pulled up to Varsity from JV for the tournament. Each girl was introduced (including non-starters) for the finals...here
she is on the BIG SCREEN about the court at the Schottenstein in Columbus...and she's a FRESHMAN!!! (didn't get in, but had the best seat in the house!)













Chelsea Welch (Fairmont MVP) on the big screen at the Schottenstein Center before the finals...giving a message about Sportsmanship. GREAT JOB CHELSEA!















Fairmont Firebirds after a win against Colerain (Lindsay is back row, right next to Head coach - Tim Cogan - on the left)













Pam & Lindsay, after the Colerain game in the tournament. Fort would be SO PROUD! (She actually went to some of Lindsays basketball games when she was in grade school - she would LOVE that Lindsay is playing for Fairmont now!)and she DID get into this game!













Nick & Mere's new house...ALMOST ready!












***************************************************************************
Josh with some of "Jackie's Books"....One year ago March 18, we lost a colleague,a good friend (one of my BEST friends) and to the kids, a great reading teacher.
$4000 was donated for Jackie's Books. Mike (Jackie's husband), Josh, Rodney, Debbie and I went to Books and Co. to purchase the books, then stamped each book with
"Jackie's Books"
In Loving Memory
Jackie Geary
Moraine Meadows Teacher

The books were donated to Children's Hospital in Dayton (to their new Library),
to Artemis Center (a referral service for battered women) to their new library
and to Southdale Elementary, where Jackie taught for a couple of months after
Moraine Meadows closed.
She will ALWAYS be remembered...LOVE YOU JACKIE!!!!














This is where I want my bed, Pamma! (in the new house)













Happy Birthday Mere! (Don't have the story of the day SHE was born...have to get that from HER mom!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Happy 32nd Birthday Nick!!!

32 years ago today-right now-our family was me, Donny and Melissa. By the end of the day, we added Nick. We thought he was going to arrive on Leap Day - I thought that would be pretty neat (although NOW I know he would have HATED it)...but he wasn't ready. We went to the hospital, they put me in a room and had me walk the halls for a couple of hours. He wasn't ready.
Three days later, I thought I was having contractions AGAIN. Had an appointment that day, went in. Nope. Not ready yet. But when I got home, and we were eating dinner (of course), the contractions got closer together. We packed up our bags, AND Melissa, headed out the door to find my friend Nancy in the driveway, delivering Girl Scout cookies! Needless to say, we grabbed the cookies, she got out of the way and we headed to Donny's sister Jean's to drop Melissa off. When we dropped her off,
got back in the car and Donny said "which way should we go? Down Wayne Avenue, or on 35?"
"I DON"T CARE HOW YOU GET ME THERE. GET ME THERE!"

We arrived at the hospital at 7:36 p.m. ( and we have the parking ticket to prove it!) Nick arrived at 8:47 p.m. Once he decided he wanted out, he wasn't wasting time!

Got a dozen roses for the first time in my life (from Donny).

And our family was complete. Melissa was a good big sister...for the next few years anyway. And then again once they were both off to college.

Can't believe my BABY is 32. Older than my oldest. Weird.

Happy Birthday Nicholas Andrew. We are so proud of you and we love you very much!

And of course, there's always a funny Drew story. Went to pick up Drew & Max at the sitter yesterday. When I was putting them in the car, I asked Drew if he "knew what tomorrow was". He said "Daddy's birthday". Then he said "Can we go to the store to get daddy a present?" I thought that was SO thoughtful. Then I asked him what he wanted to get his daddy.

"LEGOS". He even named the KIND of legos he wanted to get him. (Funny thing, Drew LOVES legos too. hmmmmm.)
His aunt Fort would be laughing right now - she liked to buy us things that SHE wanted (like the moniter she bought us for Christmas - her last Christmas. She didn't like our moniter, and she used our computer a lot, so she bought us what SHE wanted - and we are still using it. Probably won't ever get rid of it, even if stops working - hard for me to get rid of things from Melissa...)

So as we speak, Nick and Drew are out running errands, and will go shopping for "Nick's" birthday present. (Actually Nick likes building the legos too...I think if the truth be told, he would have asked for legos anyway!)

















******************************************************************************
GO LADY FIREBIRDS!!!!!
Big day for Fairmont girls basketball team - in the regional finals at Harrison High School in Cincinnati. They play Colerain. Getting into the better part of the tournament. Going to the game today, even though it's Nick's birthday...he's being very understanding (it was easy after taking him out to breakfast and promising a steak cookout tomorrow!) Will let you know how it goes! (Melissa & John would always join us at the games in Cincinnati...I know she'll be there cheering on the Firebirds...HER Firebirds!)

*******************************************************************************
This is University of Dayton (women) vs. St. Bonnaventure. #33 is Cassie Sant. She played basketball for Fairmont - recieved the FIRST 'Melissa Fortener McLaughlin B POSITIVE Spirit Award'! Having a great season at UD! Way to go Cassie!!! (love the pink uniforms!)















***********************************************************************
Some recent photos of the Nick & Mere's new house. Actually it's even farther along...drywall is hung and painted, doors are in bathrooms in, cabinets in Kitchen, and today they are pouring the concrete for the sidewalk and driveway! They are getting so excited...so are we!


















































I took several pictures to get THIS shot. First time they sat next to each other for any length of time...I couldn't believe it.













Karen & Jerri Zukowitz, Jackie Russell and me. Breakfast @ Clinton Mill.
I lived with Jerri before I got married, Jackie and I were friends in grade school.
Last time I saw Jackie was in 1996. Melissa's senior year in high school. Jackie
lived in St. Louis and we drove out to see her (let Melissa get some highway driving time - 3 hours to be exact-good thing, she pretty much did ALL of driving on her way home from Florida Spring break, that's a story for ANOTHER post). Anyway, we were there during Mardi Gras. Went to a historic district called SOULARD. Melissa, of course bought a tshirt there, which she saved, and is on the quilt of tshirts Johns mom made for her. I love to wrap myself up in that quilt.














Took Drew & Max out to dinner. They had salads. Ranch dressing on the side. For Max to DRINK. Just like his dad!














They LOVE Poppop...he builds them monsters!














Melissa bought this for Drew for his FIRST Christmas...and her last. And he STILL plays with it. I love it.
















Workin' out. They're getting stronger every day! (We have a picture of Melissa, Nick and the Ryan boys when they were about his age in the same pose!)















and last but not least...our ROCKIN' Max...really. Whenever he hears music, he's ROCKIN. Can't be loud enough in the car! AND he sings too!